"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.

And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows
through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every
single moment of my stupid little life..."

Lester Burnham from the film, American Beauty

I am really best in solitude. I needed some solitude the other night. I had been working outside all day on a project (for another post), and I was dirty and in bad need of a shower.

Instead, I headed for my boat and the lake. I paddled strong at first. A dragonfly skimmed along the water beside me, pacing itself at the same speed, as the hull of my boat met the setting sun.



I slowed my pace as the sun dipped lower behind the trees in the west, and I floated upon this little flower. The light was low, but I paddled ashore just to capture this bit of beauty.



As I got back into my boat, I realized I was at the same part of the lake I was at last summer when I got the news from my doctor that an abscess was quickly taking over my abdomen (see that post here). I had no idea then how my life was about to change.

The same message I heard from nature then rings true today: let go.

Physical healing is measurable; emotional and spiritual healing is timeless, immeasurable. What can take weeks for the body to heal can take months or even years for the spirit to heal from.



I am still recovering. But I have moved to a place of letting go and healing emotionally now. And I have decided to make some changes - simple things, like eating holistically, giving up aspartame, and foods that contain high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils - that I hope will enable my body and my spirit to return to optimum shape. It comes at a time when I am trying in all ways to living closer to the earth.

The thing that heals your heart is also what heals your soul. It's no secret: I wear my heart on my sleeve.



The thing that heals my heart is beauty. And there is so much beauty, if we just let go, with loving kindness, and accept that things are unfolding exactly as they should.



Namaste

Love list continued...

It was harder than I thought it would be to shut the door to our old house for the final time.


Our old address

But the beauty at the new homestead overshadows any sentimentality I could feel for the old ranch.

New loves at the new ranch, part 2: love # 493
Sunsets



The sunsets at the new ranch are, pardon the cliche, absolutely amazing. Stunning, really. They linger on and on, well past 9 p.m. One night at 10:30, I could still see a sliver of pink on the horizon from the setting sun.



There is so much beauty here, I really do feel like the luckiest girl alive.


Can you spot the fireflies in this photo?

Slowly, box by box, things have started coming together here. I have been so busy doing projects, unpacking and settling, I have hardly picked up my cameras or sat down at my computer.


Foxy making herself at home in front of the french doors

We have celebrated a little.


Apropos, "Doghouse" Merlot given to us as a housewarming gift from my best friend, Kim, went down smoothly after doing so much work.

But the last few days, I've forced myself to slow down, pick up my camera and document some of the beauty here.

Love #494: "Z barn"



I just love our barn. It has so much character and beauty. If the walls could talk!

Love #495: the loft of the barn



Love #496: waving to local people while driving past them on country roads

Love #497: driving fast up and down the hills of those country roads so it tickles your belly like a rollercoaster

The list goes on and on.

Oh, and love #498: watching my kids get creative entertaining themselves:


Sophie painted Elise's face like a "cat"


Sophie painted her face like a "dog"

Namaste

A post for Kathleen

My soul sister in Minnesota, Kathleen, recently asked me a question that stopped me for awhile. She asked, child-like, for me to fill in the blank to this statement: "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than _____?"

What is beauty? It's personal, unique, relative to the person and their experiences. The best way for me to describe beauty is often to think of synonyms for it.

Beauty is often synonymous with silence, for me - quiet places I carry in my heart and go to in times of trouble. Like this.


Is there anything more beautiful than floating inches above the water at sunset in my kayak?

And this:



I can't think of much more beautiful than seeing the faces of each of my children moments after they each took their first breath.

Beauty is love. Unconditional love. It is seeing my dad smile on his 70th birthday.



Beauty is participating in this miraculous life.




And drinking it in.



It is watching trumpeter swans return to a lake in Ohio in March to court each other at sunset...



Beauty is forgiveness. And grace. And learning "what peace there may be in silence."



May you carry your unique beauty inside you to light the world.

Spring in images

Hopefully these pictures are worth much more than a thousand words.









Brought to you by

Mind like a lake

It is the perfect time of day, when everything is golden in the waning hours of sunlight.


"Cove"


I find peace listening to the fish jump; with their splash-landing in the water, the concerns of the day dissipate.



The birds sing their evening song and the waves splash the hull as I paddle, watching the setting sun.



Sometimes I paddle with my eyes closed; deprived of this sense, my other senses cue in, become more alert. I’m rocking with the waves and the paddling, lulled in the slow and easy cradle of the lake. It’s like my lake. I’ve grown up on this water.



I am so drawn to water.



It’s reflective, shimmering streams of light bounce from wave to wave. I am drawn to the movement of water – ever changing, always in motion. I am attracted to its delicate nature, how even the tiniest movement sends a ripple moving across.




Tonight, like my cares, the ripples slowly fade until the water is a clean sheet of dark glass. And so is my mind.


"Fog" - one of the best photos I've ever taken. Fog rising off the lake around 9:30 p.m. The light in the corner is from a couple people fishing with a Coleman lantern. My shutter was open for about 12 seconds for this shot