I am gray

I am fluid, a thought, a flicker of moonlight in rippling water; I cannot be pinned down to one career, idea, notion, because I wax and wane, changing perspectives. Gray is where I like to sit.

I am multi-faceted; I can be an advocate, an artist, a layman, a poet, a musician, an athlete. I am fortunate, flexible, infinite.

I know less and less about more and more. Because things are fluid, multi-faceted, changing, gray. I question more of the things I used to think I knew: is it right or just dictated? Why? How?

What I know is this:
1. I am a mother. I love my babies; I might not always be the best mother, but I do the best I can.
2. I know I am open: open book, open heart, open eyes, open mind.
3. I know nothing pisses me off more than injustice and people/entities/"policies" trying to control me, mold me, change who I am, what I like and can do.
4. I know I will fight like a crazed animal against time, against stereotypes, against a lack of respect for all people/animals/ideas.
5. I know I will love you like no other, keep you safe, satiated, warm, defend you like a mother bear and love you with a passion you've never seen
6. I know I am returning to myself. I left for a long time, submerged in a world of "logic" and "statistical analysis" and black and white. But
7. I am gray. I do not belong here. I belong back with my self.

Why give up "self" for safety, i.e. marriage, career, policies, rules, norms? The worst crime is to violate that which you truly believe.