Thursday, September 10, 2009

Driving and crying: as American as the open road

It must be an American thing. We love our cars, and I am certainly guilty of fond affections for my truck.

Yes, it's true. In America, driving equals freedom.

There is something about it. An open road, the windows open wide, fresh road-going air blowing, ipod plugged into the stereo. When I used to smoke, there was always a cigarette lit if the car was in "drive." The perfect mix to relaxation.

Still looking rather sickly, I smiled as I pulled out of my driveway in the Toyota today for the first time in weeks

So today, when I fired up the Toyota after a month of not driving, I was more than a little overwhelmed. In fact, I cried. Sitting in the Sunoco station fueling up, surrounded by people going about their everyday activities, something as commonplace as driving took on great significance for me.

So many things have taken on great significance for me now. And I cry often - sometimes from the sheer joy of simple pleasures, like eating, or showering without puking, or washing my hair! The gratefulness I have for life is more than I can explain, and often, more than I can contain. Tears well up and every day things are just....beautiful.

I am very happy to say I have spent much time with my furry four-legged kids the last two days, which has brought tears to my eyes too.

the backyard mayhem

And, I realized yesterday after going out back for the first time in weeks that Big Brown has been keeping a secret.

Chris has been caring for the dogs while I've been in the hospital and recovering. As an editor, he has a lot of attention to detail. In life, however, he doesn't have so much. He had no idea about Big Brown's little secret. But it took two seconds for me to figure it out yesterday.

Big Brown is expecting. Papa, Yeti, like Chris, has no idea. But Brownie girl knows. After dinner tonight, she lay down in the grass and let me rub her growing belly looking up at me, eyes half shut, enjoying the rub down as only a pregnant female can enjoy a belly rub. She should be due in nine days. It's certainly not good timing as we started our fall training tonight, and I am still very weak and recovering. But, as John Lennon said, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. And so, life happens. And it's beautiful: the mistakes, the mayhem, the joy and the sadness. It's all so beautiful.


  1. Great post. Something about being so vulnerable makes us equally grateful, I think.

    OMG, 9 days. Be still my heart !!!! Can't wait to see the pups!!!!

    Wanna take bets on the ears. I'm guessing they're going to be straight-uppers. LOL!!!

  2. Shannon, this post had me in tears! I am so happy to hear that you're feeling better, and your post was a beautiful reminder to all of us that ordinary life is really something to cherish.

    How exciting that you will be having puppies at your house. I'm sure that will bring so much joy to you as you continue to recover! :) What are your plans for the pups? Will you be keeping them or rehoming some? :)

  3. Sometimes special hardship brings with it gifts. Suffering brings knowledge, humane knowledge. Your sickness has obviously brought many gifts with it. I am moved by your experience.


Please leave comments - I always love reading them! namaste!