"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.
And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows
through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every
single moment of my stupid little life..."
Lester Burnham from the film, American Beauty
I am really best in solitude. I needed some solitude the other night. I had been working outside all day on a project (for another post), and I was dirty and in bad need of a shower.
Instead, I headed for my boat and the lake. I paddled strong at first. A dragonfly skimmed along the water beside me, pacing itself at the same speed, as the hull of my boat met the setting sun.
I slowed my pace as the sun dipped lower behind the trees in the west, and I floated upon this little flower. The light was low, but I paddled ashore just to capture this bit of beauty.
As I got back into my boat, I realized I was at the same part of the lake I was at last summer when I got the news from my doctor that an abscess was quickly taking over my abdomen (see that post here). I had no idea then how my life was about to change.
The same message I heard from nature then rings true today: let go.
Physical healing is measurable; emotional and spiritual healing is timeless, immeasurable. What can take weeks for the body to heal can take months or even years for the spirit to heal from.
I am still recovering. But I have moved to a place of letting go and healing emotionally now. And I have decided to make some changes - simple things, like eating holistically, giving up aspartame, and foods that contain high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils - that I hope will enable my body and my spirit to return to optimum shape. It comes at a time when I am trying in all ways to living closer to the earth.
The thing that heals your heart is also what heals your soul. It's no secret: I wear my heart on my sleeve.
The thing that heals my heart is beauty. And there is so much beauty, if we just let go, with loving kindness, and accept that things are unfolding exactly as they should.